Oct 29, 2020

Getting started

For me, getting started is generally the hardest part. I have done work on my projects already today but coming in here and thinking about all of this on a higher level I think makes me really feel like I’m getting stuff done. I think it helps me sort out the thoughts in my head so that they run into each other less. Like I think a lot of my anxiety is actually rooted in thoughts trying to take priority but this flattens the thought process and spreads it all out more.

How am I doing?

Today I started at 3 pm. Let's see if I can do better tomorrow. And check in tomorrow to reflect on how much this helped. Usually I only really start getting creative after midnight.


I don’t know. This wasn’t that helpful. I felt really avoidant after writing a bit in here. I do think that I put some information down that was in my head but I didn’t do nearly as much as I wanted. And now it's late and I’d like to be in bed in 10 and now I feel like working on it. I think I actually did do good because I started on this early and I got some done. It's more just that emotionally it feels hard because I didn't do as much as I’d like but that's something I can build up. I think it feels harder because I usually get more done at night than I did all day starting earlier but that should only be transition. I’ll have to check in on this later.


I think at the top of a blog post there should be a short lesson on what the rest of the post is about. Like the rest of the post is for me and an example of the lesson if someone wants to understand more details.

Attachment community


Finished a hard conversation from a few days ago with it seems like a better understanding. That feels good.


I’d like to figure out how to do some marketing in the group.

  1. Share Words I have Written

I have at least one doc I’ve written but never shared.

2. Share my Website:

  • Really the point is to introduce myself as a coach and let people know that I’m new to the business aspect of this and my prices reflect this.
  • I’m new to the business side of this and my prices reflect this
  • I think this should be done first.
  • Hi, I wanted to share that I have a coaching practice. I’m new to the business side of coaching and my prices reflect this. I’m not a therapist and do not have any special attachment training but I bring my understanding of attachment into the process. Most of my clients are more on the anxiously attached side of the spectrum but I have worked with clients on the more avoidant side and in particular, I have found it can be helpful to help more avoidant clients empathize more with their anxious partners and understand from a more logical place so they feel more motivated to support their anxious partner as well as discussion of boundaries and language around boundaries so that anxious partners can have expectations. Here is a link to my testimonials.
  • The first session is free if anyone wants to just see what it’s like. I’d love the chance to have a good phone conversation.

3. Should I do a group session?

Maybe I can ask if people would be interested in a group session? thought I’m worried that I’m not confident enough to make it sustainable. Like I’d really have to have a 3-month thing but I don't know that I’m ready for that.

Anxiously attached


Writing I’m Working on:

“Do you really want to be with your current partner? Or your EX? These are questions I have asked people that often I find helps them think about what they really want. Are you playing a rescuer role? If your partner doesn’t change after 10 years, 20 years will you be happy in the relationship? If the answer is no, do you see evidence that your partner is doing deep work to work on their habits or are they willing to go to a coach or couples therapy?”

What is the value of this group

I feel pretty triggered by the group at the moment. Like I was getting pushed. I keep hitting attachment stuff there….



I’m very heavily focused on information and therefore I don’t have to focus on fancy film stuff. I mean its an experiment but I’d like ot see if I can make all my vids in one cut with minimal editing. Like maybe its ridiculous

Thoughts About My Process

I think that there are two types of blog posts. One is a real blog post where I just write every day or so about what is going on and where my focus is and what I should be focusing on. The other style will be a particular project that I want to flesh out and maybe refer back to. Like I might write one up specifically for a youtube video and refer back to it in the video.



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Dylan Smeder

Dylan Smeder

I am a life and relationship coach. The focus of this blog is self-coaching with anxiety. dylansmeder.com